The word negotiation typically prompts an image of people from different sides trying to form an agreement. Although this idea holds some truth, there is much more to the term than just that.
The word is derived from Latin: negare otium which translates to “business” in French and Spanish. It can be simply defined as a method to settle differences. We employ it in many aspects of life, from negotiating at the marketplace to more personal examples which include deciding where to go, what to eat and what to wear. It has become a habit almost— since childhood, we learn to negotiate to get what we want. Some more time on the television, less broccoli for dinner, maybe even which classes to drop or take to reach that perfect balance where both you and your parents are happy. When it is time to negotiate in a professional setting, we often experience anxiety or fear over the outcomes. I want to assure you that these negotiations, albeit professional and often nerve wracking, aren’t quite as different from our everyday negotiations.
Here is a guide containing all you need to know to master the art of successful negotiations.
Firstly, it is vital that you view negotiation not as an agreement, or a compromise but as problem solving; a way by which both sides can get something and that is mutually beneficial. Change the frame through which you view negotiation. Harvard Law School Professor writes that the late Nelson Mandela was “the greatest negotiator of the twentieth century”. Mandela’s decision to negotiate with the South African apartheid government that had imprisoned him for life ended up bearing fruit that changed history. He was willing to make concessions but not about what was important to him. When it came to his political perspectives or non-negotiables, he was unmovable.
Now that you’re inspired, let’s dive into a two-step structure that will help you ace any negotiation:
1. Getting a good deal
The goal of a negotiation is not to get any deal, but a good deal. To be able to separate what a good deal is from a bad deal, you need to keep three things in mind: alternatives, reservation price, and aspiration. According to Harvard Business Review, having an alternative gives you confidence and provides you with a helpful referencing point. If you don’t have one, try imagining one. Research shows that mentally simulating having attractive alternatives may boost your outcomes. A reservation price can also be considered as your non negotiable, it’s something you need to plan beforehand. Aspiration is an optimistic assessment of an ideal situation. It’s important to remember all three to ensure a satisfactory outcome.
2. Planning
This stage consists of four substeps. First, assess the situation: is it the right decision to negotiate? Or in other words, do the benefits outweigh the potential costs of negotiating? Secondly, prepare. Outline your interests and the interests of others in this negotiation. It is key to have some understanding of what the other party wants. Thirdly, make the ask. The value of this endeavor lies in the fact that both sides have unique information. Share it. Finally, package. It is likely that the other person would want to negotiate issue by issue, but given the adversarial nature of the task at hand, it is much more beneficial to bundle different solutions together. Use if/then statements like: If I get x then you get y.
It is also important to keep your emotions and the emotions of the other party in check. According to research, bringing anger to a negotiation is like throwing a bomb into the process. Another emotion that keeps you from getting the most of what you want is anxiety. Research shows that anxious people are more likely to be taken advantage of in a negotiation especially when the other party senses their distress. Experts suggest rehearsing and sharpening your negotiation skills and even bringing in a third party to avoid feeling anxious.
Many studies show that women are much less likely to negotiate than their male counterparts. There could be many factors contributing to this. Margaret Neale from Stanford Graduate School of Business highlights an important one: expectations drive behaviors. In an experiment, when women were told that people like them negotiated poorly, they performed worse than their male counterparts. When they were told people like them negotiated well, they happened to perform even better than their male colleagues. In addition to this, women tend to perform better when they are negotiating for others rather than themselves. The “I-We” strategy, or in other words, “think personally, act communally” way of thought can help women negotiate successfully by creating win-win situations.